The psychopath is empty inside. To fill this void, he needs a persona. Like the chameleon, he adopts the
characteristics of his surroundings—including the look and feel of his prey. If he has the opportunity, his
prey might be you.
He will take the time to learn about you on the Internet, on Facebook, and try to discover who you are on social
media, until he has determined your interests, your friends and your habits. If he meets you, he will ask
you a lot of questions and model himself like a chameleon to align himself with your desires, needs,
aspirations, and shortcomings.
If he sees you as a potential partner, he will play the ideal soul mate. Generally, these people are so
charming that others are easily attracted to them and their intensity, until the excitement takes effect
and they are able to trap you firmly. Like a drug or a spell, they have molded themselves into exactly
what you think you want in your life and their process is just getting started.
Once he knows you are firmly attached or under his control, he will begin his process of dismantling
your finances, your possessions, your friends, your beliefs, your values—and finally, your personality. In
comparison to a narcissist, who wants to win, to get what he wants by all means, a psychopath is a predator
who takes pleasure in using his sharp teeth. He will enjoy destroying his prey physically, emotionally and
mentally. When he has had enough, he moves to the next prey and drops you—with your heart, body
and spirit in tatters.
He will need time to acclimatize to the personality of the next victim. He will start all over again to
analyze and seek out the next persona he will try to adopt. If he meets you at a party or in a bar, he will
observe from a distance, but try to hear some of what you might be saying to others. He will act very
caring and may say something like, “I could not help but overhear that you lost your job” or “you just
broke up with your boyfriend. So sorry to hear that.” If you were recently widowed, he may volunteer to
do odd jobs for you and find a way to get into your life, your home and affairs.
And no, it’s not weak women he’s attracted to, it’s strong, self-reliant women with a high level of
generosity, understanding, tolerance and resourcefulness from whom he’ll try to extract everything.
Here are some of the characteristics of a psychopath:
– Can be very charming, brilliant, and seductive at the beginning of the relationship
– Seems very interested in your life and appears to be very caring
– Has a very strong sexual energy and may seem very exciting as a potential partner
– Often moves from one place to another and may actually have no reliable background
– Seeks to win your pity by telling you about his sad childhood and lack of friends
– Will want to make a quick commitment: doing your repairs, moving into your home, marriage
– Isolates you, and eventually criticizes your family, friends, clothes, your comings and goings
– Feels love only in an artificial and superficial way though it may not be obvious to you
– Has little or no conscience, which can only be seen in small things and subtle ways
– Does not feel remorse or feel responsible when things he does cause harm
– Has a very strong sexual energy and may seem very exciting as a potential partner
– Presents himself larger-than-life and brags about his hard-to-believe achievements
– Has an intense and hypnotic gaze and tries to pull you into his psyche
– He cheats on you and lies repeatedly, but in such a way that you doubt yourself
– Uses you, your talents, contacts, money, work and success to achieve his ends (career, material support, travel)
– Seeks a strong and capable partner that he can control and break down
– Does not mind preying on both men or women as long as they help fulfill his needs
The last thing the psychopath wants is for you to identify him as a psychopath and discreetly alert those
around you. It is vital to not confront the psychopath (or others with personality disorders) as this will
make them very aggressive, manipulative and destructive.
What to do to avoid falling prey to the psychopath or others with personality disorders:
– Keep quiet about yourself, your plans, your ideas, and keep the details of your life private
– Respond only to what is appropriate to say for the occasion and do not volunteer any information
– If you have already fallen for his act, put an end to the relationship as fast as you can
– If you can’t avoid him like in the workplace, always have a witness with you in his presence, and repeat
aloud in front of others what he tells you on the sly.
– Change jobs as soon as you can. Your peace of mind, your mental and physical health are at stake
– Remember, they are dangerous and your relationships and reputation may be on the line
Most professional statistics estimate that there is 1 psychopath out of every 25 people, and 1 person out
of 5 who has a personality disorder (narcissist, borderline, paranoid, dramatic, antisocial).
This is considerable and means that you are likely to be exposed to these people. They are found everywhere —
in the family, relationships, among neighbors, and in the professional environment. They may have prestige
and a lot of influence. It’s better to be prepared, to be able to recognize them, and to have the right tools.
Be wise!
Jocelyne Durand
Director, Consciousness 360
Specialized Coach and Expert in Dealing with Difficult Behaviors
- SPECIAL NOTE: This is what I am offering to share in my 2-hour webinar in French on February 18, 2023 (1:30 to 3:30
eastern time), and my two-day seminar in English on-line entitled Equip Yourself to Deal with Difficult
Behaviors on April 19-20, 2022.
For questions or help or for individualized counselling, coaching or a PSYCH-K® session, leave a message
on my website at consciousness360.ca, or contact me directly at 819-664-2100.
