Seduced into Becoming a Prisoner of an Abusive Relationship

In my early life, I had unknowingly been seduced into becoming a prisoner of an abusive relationship and had lost my physical, financial and emotional freedom in the process.  And yes, I actually later returned to this man, just like many women do after being under the spell of a dark attraction.

When I eventually rewon my freedom and personal power, I promised myself to never surrender my power and safety again. That inspired me to take advanced training in this field. I want to be sure that others are also able to win back that same freedom and never surrender their power and safety to anyone who would abuse or manipulate them.

Recently, the story of Anna Maria Tremonti, the well-known Canadian journalist and reporter, has come out as a perfect example of this exact scenario. She carried the secret of an abusive marriage for decades. She came back to her abuser again and again, until he finally told her if she did not leave, he would kill her. Even at that point she was not sure he really meant it!

In my own life, I have come full circle—having dealt with this issue of the dangers of difficult personalities on a one-on-one basis, I have professionally researched the subject, trained in identifying and resolving toxic relationships, and now help others as a coach, and in the academic setting as a teacher. In the corporate world, I work as a specialized consultant with abrasive leaders. I also provide private consultations for those experiencing or recovering from dealing with violent and controlling individuals.

At one point, as I was delivering a professional workshop at the University, I had decided that morning not to introduce the profile of the psychopath personality, which I had recently added to my training material. But as the participants engaged in a role play, I took a few minutes to relax. Suddenly, I heard an inner voice asking me to introduce the subject that I had skipped. I can’t, I said, it’s too late: the subject of personality disorders was covered this morning. Yet, the voice insisted I bring out the subject.

I went back in the class and said, I know we covered the subject of personality disorders this morning but I have added some new information and I think it is important that I share it with you. I explained and defined what a psychopathic personality was all about and answered questions. Two days later one of the participants phoned me to tell me that when I introduced the subject, it shook her to her core. When I said that not all psychopaths are in prison, it made her realize something. That was what she had actually believed, that if her abuser were a psychopath he would already be in prison. To her dismay she realized that the danger was much closer to home and took the appropriate measures to protect herself.

This is an important topic for everyone to understand and not be afraid to discuss. A force had saved my life years before so that I could help save people’s lives later. A gift received was returned. I am still growing and learning to trust my inner guidance as a way to live, which makes me more effective and of greater service to my fellow humans.

Jocelyne Durand provides exceptional one-on-one specialized coaching and executive consulting. She regularly is called upon to provide one-on-one coaching and also offers specialized corporate executive consulting to achieve greater harmony and balance with high level talent. She provides an extensive program that is known to lead to higher levels of cooperation and success in the workplace. In addition, she offers customized personal analysis and consulting, individualized specialized executive consulting, and serves as an executive coach for abrasive leaders.

Posted in

Jocelyne Durand